Eco-Confessionals & Mommy Guilt

Breathe In – Breathe Out – Breathe In – Breathe Out! 

I’m finally catching up from my three day jaunt to Nashville, TN where I attended (along with 650 other bloggers) the annual Blissdom conference.  Having attended BlogHer last fall I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I had heard such amazing testimonials over Blissdom that I was super excited.  All I can say is that I totally found my BLISS and will be making Blissdom a regular event each year.  I honestly learned so much about the business of blogging and about myself.  I want to share with you just one of my many stories…

First a picture for you to enjoy:

What do you see when you look at this picture?  What thoughts immediately come into your mind?

It isn’t hard for a mom to find guilt and shame everyday in our lives is it?  Why are we so hard on ourselves?  It’s just a hamburger, right? 

The conversation came up several times at Blissdom about my niche and my readers.  My readers expect me to talk about how to live a more eco-friendly lifestyle, cloth diapers, breastfeeding, making baby food, phthalates, lead, waste, and how to be better at “Loving Mother Earth”…you don’t really want to know that I’m NOT perfect do you?  OF COURSE YOU DO!!!  Who am I kidding; unless you are an eco-saint most of us have our strengths and weaknesses in raising our children. 

I was trying to explain to the Freschetta PR reps why I didn’t think their product would be a good fit for my blog.  I was talking with other green bloggers over lunch about how some topics just aren’t a good fit for my blog.  And over and over again the reality of life came through.  Even the best green bloggers out there aren’t perfect.  Do you expect us to be?  Do you expect me to be?  Or would you rather that I help make our lives more manageable by telling you what my own weaknesses are – which areas of my life I wish were greener but just don’t have time or energy to change. 

I posted this question to my Facebook Fan Page yesterday morning; “I feel guilty when I…” and asked you to leave me your comments.  Here are just a few of my favorite ones:

Kim S wrote:  “I felt guilty last night putting a paper diaper on the baby because it was the middle of the night and it was the closest to me. Of course he woke up with a rash….”

Tracy S wrote:  “‎…let my husband go to the “baby” (ok, toddler) at night instead of getting up and nursing her. She gets sad, but Mommy needs a little sleep!”

Jenny B wrote:  “Leaving my son with my husband so much on weekends when I’m cooking & grocery shopping…and not being able to keep up with them when we are together (36 wks preg).”

and others felt guilty about yelling, lack of patience, spend money, eat crap, don’t do enough, surf the web, watch too much tv, don’t have a clean enough house….the list keeps going.  You can read all of them or add your own on my wall.  I actually enjoyed reading what others felt guilty about because it made me realize that we ALL have the same guilt.  MOMMY GUILT! 

The Keynote Speaker at Blissdom this year was Brene Brown; author of The Gifts of Imperfection, Letting Go of Who We Think We Should Be and Embracing Who We Are.  While I took many things from her speech the one that I am going to be using as my mantra this year…

I AM ENOUGH!

Won’t you join me and say this at least once a day; especially on those really hard days when you don’t believe you really are ENOUGH!  My promise to you is to be as real and as vulnerable as I can be with you.  I will (continue) to share with you my strengths but I will also share with you my weaknesses. 

Confession: I really wanted to post this yesterday and call it Sunday Confessionals (cute huh?) but I decided to go to bed early instead.  It’s now after midnight and I’m just now getting ready to push the publish button and I can feel my eyes sagging.  I probably won’t spell check tonight and will catch several spelling errors in the morning after you’ve all read it.  I will log off my laptop only to go to the bedroom and watch my iPhone hoping for at least one comment before I go to sleep.  And I will check my iPhone first thing in the morning (hopefully before my family is awake) to see who else is up this late (or early) and inspired to leave a comment.  Why?  So that I don’t feel like I’m vulnerable alone. 





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10 Responses to Eco-Confessionals & Mommy Guilt

  1. Jenny B says:

    Just had to log on from MY iPhone before bed to leave you a comment so you don’t feel alone!! Thanks for the post, it helps to know we’re not alone! I think being labeled a “green” blogger can really be tough sometimes, it’s like we’re claiming to be better in some way, but that’s really not it at all…I think it’s important that we’re living in the present moment, and doing what we are able to right now-that’s the best we can do! As we grow, we’ll improve, but it can’t always be immediate.

  2. Mel says:

    Blissdom sounds cult-ish, like brainwashing but in a positive way. I see it as positive energy and not a bad thing (cult-ish is a word often used to describe something I find interesting so I do not mean it to be offensive — just the opposite).

    I’m not saying this right. I’m logging off and going to bed too. :)

  3. Carrie says:

    My first and only child is now 8 months old, and I feel quite a bit of mommy guilt from time to time… I’ll have to remember that phrase – “I AM ENOUGH!!” :)

  4. Amyj says:

    Thank you so much for saying (beautifully) what we all feel in our hearts yet most of the time can’t break free enough to articulate! Life can go from unbearable to joyous when we feel we aren’t alone!

  5. Laura says:

    I AM ENOUGH. (I love that) We do need to give ourselves more credit. Why are we, as moms, so obsessed with gaining approval from other moms? Ugh. Its a vicious cycle. Great & timely post. :D

  6. This really hits home for me. Because I strive to be healthy, green, and eco-friendly, sometimes even the smallest deviations from that can make me feel like such a hypocrite!

    My life is busier than it has ever been, and I often don’t have time to breathe. Sometimes I just HAVE to settle for things that don’t fit my “green goals.” But for me, it’s not about gaining approval from other moms, but from myself. I am my own toughest critic. So, when I feel guilty, and I often do, I try to ask myself “Do I know anyone who actually fits my idea of the perfect mom?” The answer, of course, if no…so as long as I try my hardest and try to do the best I can do for my son, I figure I’m ok!

  7. Freschetta says:

    Calley

    It was wonderful to meet and talk with you at Blissdom! Glad you were inspired by the event to overcome your “mommy guilt.” We are sure you are a great mommy :)

    The FRESCHETTA Team

  8. Calley says:

    Thanks everyone for your comments! I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels insignificant at times.

    And Team Freschetta – I am seriously craving some pizza right now! I missed the Girls Night In – which should I try first? Sounds like pizza is in my families future tonight!!

  9. I totally tried to talk to the Freschetta reps too about why they wouldn’t be a good fit for the blog and then I just gave up. Did you go by the Nestle Tollhouse booth? Did the same thing there… Well, a pizza here and there probably won’t kill us right? Got to kick that mommy guilt in the butt. I brought the flu home from Blissdom and my house is still a wreck. The mommy guilt is majorly setting in. I can’t even tell you how much TV my kids have watched in the past week.

  10. Pingback: Relief from Mommy Guilt | Our Peaceful Home

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